Why Self Care Isn’t Indulgent, It’s Maintenance

January always disappears faster than we expect.

One minute we’re easing into a new year, the next we’re staring down February with school routines, birthdays, work commitments, and another heatwave rolling through. Summer in Australia has never been gentle, but this year’s combination of extreme heat and humidity has felt relentless.

And when life feels full, noisy, and physically draining, the conversation around self care gets louder. It’s everywhere. Podcasts, social media, reels, checklists, opinions. Do this. Buy that. Try this routine. Add this habit.

But here’s the truth.
Most adult women don’t need more self care ideas.
They need permission to see care as responsibility, not indulgence.

Adult Self Care Became Popular for a Reason

When I was a teenager, self care wasn’t a term anyone used. Our parents didn’t talk about burnout, nervous systems, or boundaries. You just got on with it.

Somewhere along the way, things shifted.

Part of that came from the Covid era, when everything stopped and people were forced to take stock of their lives. Part of it came from the rise of influencers and personal development content, for better and worse. Suddenly, we had language for things we’d always felt but never named.

Adult ADHD. Mindfulness. Rage cleaning. Nervous system regulation. Self care.

Some of it is genuinely helpful. Some of it’s just noise. And some of it feels completely disconnected from real life.

Because most women I know aren’t looking for bubble baths and champagne. They’re looking for ways to function, cope, sleep, and keep showing up without running themselves into the ground.

Care Isn’t a Treat, It’s Upkeep

Here’s the line I keep coming back to.

Self care isn’t indulgent.
It’s maintenance.

It’s the same way you service your car, water your garden, or clean out the pantry before it becomes a disaster. Ignore it long enough and something breaks.

For women who carry a lot, emotionally, mentally, practically, care isn’t optional. It’s preventative.

That care usually falls into three quiet areas.

Skin and Body

Not luxury. Basics.

A skincare routine that actually suits your skin, not what’s trending. Products you can rely on, so you’re not constantly starting again when something is out of stock or doesn’t work anymore.

Movement that supports your body, not punishes it. Comfortable shoes. Drinking water. Managing the impact of heat, hormones, and exhaustion.

Sometimes care is choosing that facial mask in a jar instead of a salon treatment because it fits your time and budget. Plus it’s a simple step to help maintain your skin long term.

Mind and Emotional Load

This is the invisible one.

This is why awareness matters so much, especially during campaigns like Liptember, because the stories women carry every day are often the ones no one else can see.

Mental load. Responsibility. Anticipating everyone else’s needs. Being the organiser, the reminder, the steady one.

Adult self care here doesn’t look pretty. It looks like routines. Boundaries. Knowing when to say no. Letting go of the idea that everything has to be done perfectly to count.

It’s choosing systems over chaos. Structure over constant decision making. Space to think, even if it’s just ten minutes of quiet.

Identity and Enjoyment

This part often gets ignored.

Somewhere between raising kids, working, supporting partners, and managing life, many women lose touch with the things that fill their own cup.

Not the things we’re told should relax us. The things that actually do.

For me, that’s music, movies, photography, craft, and time with people I love. It’s deep tissue massages that hurt but actually work. It’s keeping my hair appointments because my dark hair feels like part of who I am.

It’s not bubble baths. It’s not long lunches. It’s not switching off responsibility entirely.

And that’s okay.

When Self Care Shows Up Through Work and Creativity

This is where my businesses sit, and where I’ve done a lot of reflecting over the past year.

I didn’t join SeneGence with a deep sense of purpose or a polished “why.” I joined for very practical reasons. To earn a bit of extra money. To access skincare that worked for me. To try makeup that actually lasted.

I tried to do everything “right.” Training, videos, markets, parties, teams, challenges. And while I’ve met incredible people, it never quite fit the way it fits for others.

What I didn’t realise at the time is that the biggest value it gave me wasn’t income or growth charts.

It was confidence. Knowledge. Routine. Choice.

The same goes for Buttons by Brooke.

When I first started making buttons, they brought joy. They were simple, practical, thoughtful. And while the world has shifted toward fast, cheap, mass produced everything, those small handmade pieces still represent something slower and more intentional.

Both of these things, skincare, makeup, creativity, were never about indulgence. They were about care.

Care for how I feel in my skin. Care for having something just for me. Care for staying connected to creativity and people.

That’s adult self care too.

A Simpler Definition of Adult Self Care

If I could strip it back to one idea, it would be this.

Adult self care is doing the things that keep you steady, not the things that look impressive.

It’s choosing what supports you long term, even when it’s quiet and unglamorous.

Especially for women who carry a lot, care isn’t a reward. It’s a responsibility to yourself.

And when you start seeing it that way, the pressure lifts. The noise fades. And what’s left is something much simpler, and far more sustainable.

Practical Takeaway

Ask yourself one honest question this week.

What keeps me functioning well, not what looks like self care?

Start there. Keep it simple. Let that be enough.