When the Smile Hides the Struggle

From the outside, a bright lipstick can look like confidence. A swipe of red, a pop of pink, a bold berry. They all give the impression of someone who has it all together. But sometimes, behind the colour, is a very different story.

The Hidden Load

Like so many women, I juggle a lot; work deadlines, family commitments, teenagers stepping into adulthood, and the endless ‘mental load’ of keeping life on track for instance, appointments, finances, laundry, meal prep and remembering all those ‘special dates’. And while I love showing up with a smile (and a lip colour to match), that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

There are days I feel tired, stretched, and unsure of myself. Days when the smile is there, but underneath I’m quietly battling overwhelm or self-doubt. I know I’m not alone in this and that’s why I keep coming back to Liptember each year. I show up for those that can’t.

Why Liptember Matters

Liptember is about more than wearing lipstick. It’s about shining a light on the struggles women face. The ones we don’t always talk about. It’s about reminding each other that mental health matters, and that no one should have to carry their struggles in silence.

Every time someone asks about my Liptember lip colour, it opens the door to a bigger conversation. That’s the real power of this campaign: it takes something small and joyful, and turns it into something meaningful.

My Own Toolkit

Over the years, I’ve learned a few ways to care for myself when the smile starts to feel heavy:

• A quick walk outside, even just ten minutes, to clear my head.

• Some deep breathing and more recently, stretching.

• Sticky notes on my desk with mantras like ‘Be real, not perfect.’

• Talking honestly when asked how I am instead of saying ‘I’m fine.’

• Creative projects that remind me of joy, like my buttons.

• Finding beauty in the everyday, be it a cloud in the sky or a beautiful flower or footprint in the sand.

These aren’t big, dramatic fixes but they help. And I share them because I know someone else might need the reminder too.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re reading this and feeling like your smile is hiding more than you want to admit, please know you’re not the only one. Reach out, share your story, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Behind every lipstick shade this Liptember, there’s a woman with her own story. And when we share those stories, we find strength together.